I wish they would agree to disagree!

I wish they would agree to disagree!

Tips on Parenting with a Partner

Have you ever heard the saying; there is more than one way to skin a cat?  There is more than one way to raise a child.  Just because your partner parents differently, doesn’t mean they are wrong or that your children will be messed up.  Building the relationship is the most important part of parenting.  Connecting and communicating with love and respect goes a long way in co-parenting.

There will be disagreements and sometimes even arguments about how one parent is handling a child related problem.  As long as the disagreements are short lived and have low energy associated with them, they can model healthy relationship skills.  It is when they become high energy and long lasting “right” fights, that arguments can damage relationships and children’s psyche.

Parenting style is as unique as each parent.  Believing that parents have to be on the “same page” implies that there is only one way to parent.  Unfortunately, that requires one parent to be right and the other to be wrong.  Then a lot of energy is spent on trying to change the other parent’s perspective which is virtually impossible.  These irreconcilable differences have been the cause of many divorces and consequently harm the children more than inconsistent parenting styles.

Here are some tips on parenting with a partner:

  • Accept that there will be times that you don’t agree on parenting styles.
  • It is okay to be different.
  • It is more important to honor your relationship and give grace than it is to be right.
  • Children are more open and respectful when they see it modeled in a marriage.
  • Remember how important your marriage is.
  • Make sure that you are not being manipulated by your child.
  • Be mindful of your similar goals in raising your children.
  • Celebrate your mutual love for your child(ren).