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Virginia Beaver

Life Coach and Trainer

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Lying

May 27, 2015 By Virginia

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What makes children/us lie?   

Sometimes we will lie to see if we can get away with it.  If lying is met with a high energy response (yelling, anger or frustration), it reinforces the behavior.  Remember, if children/we want or need attention, negative attention is better than none.  This is true with any behavior, for example cussing, acting out in public, and defiance.

Children also learn to lie from watching the adults in their life lie or not tell the whole truth.  To them there is no difference between a “little white lie” and untruths.  Sometimes we get caught in a lie when we don’t know how to communicate the truth in an age-appropriate manner. We reinforce this undesirable behavior if we tell children to keep a secret or if they hear us tell someone we are “fine” when they know we are sick, upset, etc.

We will lie when we are afraid to tell the truth or when we don’t want to disappoint parents, friends, teachers, mentors or our spouse.  We lie to protect ourselves and others from getting hurt.  In other words, the truth can be riskier than the lie.

Lying can become a habit (chronic lying) through conditioning (check out my blog about Learning).

What can we do?

  • Respond to lying with empathetic consequences in a “matter of fact” way, without arguing.
  • Give children the attention they need when things are going well.
  • Model telling the truth (age appropriate), even when it is uncomfortable.
  • Make it safe to tell the truth by listening without judgments or over reacting, no matter what they say.
  • Let them know that nothing they can do will make us love them anymore or any less.

I am here to help, feel free to contact me with questions or specifics.

Filed Under: Sharing Parenting Tagged With: age-appropriate, children, communication, lying, parenting, parenting skills

“Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” class in Whitewright

March 22, 2015 By Virginia

A seven-week parenting program designed by the Love and Logic Institute to help give practical solutions to everyday parenting challenges.

One Time Fee of $70.00 for all 7 sessions

Bring payment to KTCC January 25, 2015 or

REGISTER ONLINE BY CLICKING

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Tagged With: connecting with your children, parent coaching, parenting, parenting with love, virginia beaver

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Meet Virginia

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Virginia is passionate about coaching parents and teachers on how to take care of themselves so that they can take care of their children/students. She is an advocate for relationships that create connections that will allow people of all ages to grow emotionally. She knows that helping adults heal and take care of themselves is very important in raising children.
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Testimonials

Substitute Teacher

"I am so thankful that I met Virginia and have had her for a (Love and Logic) coach. The seminars are good...
2017-02-08T17:14:04+00:00
"I am so thankful that I met Virginia and have had her for a (Love and Logic) coach. The seminars are good but they cannot cover everything. That is why it is critical to have a coach to help you when unexpected things come up. Otherwise you are left in the dark wondering “What do I do with this situation?”" Beverley
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/substitute-teacher/

Chuck L. Rockwall, TX

There are times in our life that we need help. Virginia can help you get out of your head and...
2016-10-28T23:16:50+00:00
There are times in our life that we need help. Virginia can help you get out of your head and back into your heart.
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/chuck-l-rockwall-tx/

Dave R. Richardson, TX

Virginia is awesome! I highly recommend her counsel and classes!
2016-10-28T23:16:10+00:00
Virginia is awesome! I highly recommend her counsel and classes!
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/dave-r-richardson-tx/

Jena A. Frisco, TX

I highly recommend Virginia for anyone having difficulty inside their relationships, especially family like husband and children, but really all...
2016-10-28T23:05:56+00:00
I highly recommend Virginia for anyone having difficulty inside their relationships, especially family like husband and children, but really all your personal relationships.
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/jena-a-frisco-tx/

MP Allen, TX

I loved the Love and Logic class. Virginia is a great teacher, she is patient and has a gift for...
2016-09-08T21:25:43+00:00
I loved the Love and Logic class. Virginia is a great teacher, she is patient and has a gift for really listening, understanding your situation, and giving you some very practical ideas so you can make time with your children more enjoyable and teach them life-long lessons.
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/mp/

Anonymous: Plano, TX

Felt successful with the stop arguing, ownership of problem, and enforceable statements techniques.  Overall, my stress level with kids is...
2016-05-26T16:41:36+00:00
Felt successful with the stop arguing, ownership of problem, and enforceable statements techniques.  Overall, my stress level with kids is reduced.
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/anonymous/

JG

"I took the Love and Logic course when my son was 18 months so that I could learn how to...
2016-02-29T21:26:50+00:00
"I took the Love and Logic course when my son was 18 months so that I could learn how to work with his biting and pushing and how I could better handle stressful situations. Virginia taught me through Love and Logic how to address  my son to get more successful  outcomes.   This a very effective class and I highly recommend  it for parents  of young  kiddos and older. In the class the parents  with teenagers said that their  new Love and Logic practice helped them significantly  communicate with their child by giving them the options to make choices for themselves  and for them to learn  what's right and wrong on their own terms.  I learned to calm down and tweek my approach when talking to him. Finally, he doesn't  bite and we have a much better relationship."
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/jg/

Encouraged Parents

"Miss Virginia is an excellent teacher. In the class, she encouraged parents to discuss among themselves and come up with...
2015-10-26T21:03:24+00:00
"Miss Virginia is an excellent teacher. In the class, she encouraged parents to discuss among themselves and come up with solutions. She also gave extra time after class to make sure we understand the ideas. I started putting those suggestions into practice. Since I am not owning my kids day-to-day problems anymore, my stress level came down significantly."
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/encouraged-parents/

GP

Thanks so much. It's been wonderful.The format of the class was exactly what I needed. The book is good as...
2014-11-19T23:04:44+00:00
Thanks so much. It's been wonderful.The format of the class was exactly what I needed. The book is good as a reference, but the group dynamics, discussion and your lesson plan were what really made it "actionable".
http://virginiabeaver.com/testimonials/gp/

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